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A basic core factor of self-defense is not merely fighting techniques, anyone and everyone who studies martial arts or just assaults others knows a few fighting techniques. More so, believing that criminals are not knowledgeable just because they not formally "trained" is lying to themself and being wholely stupid. Many gangs involve beat-downs are ways of initiation into the gang and others use fighting as proof of one's ability to be a "soldier."

As such the most important core means of self-defense is not in your ability to punch and kick or twist and choke-out ab attacker but in your ability to recognise and avoid trouble...

Now I've written books about this, but I want to know what are the suggestions of others, how do we help our children, friends, family and ourselves out of harms way..?

I personally think the best alternative to not having to fight and to increase the probablity of you or someone around you getting hurt is not allowing the criminal the opportunity to do it. From my personal experience from being a gang banger and drug dealer you can't avoid the probablity of a crime from happening to you but you can decrease the chances of it happening to you. An example to give is if you want to out to a bar with your friends to celebrate something and when you go to the bar there is a 5-7 group of gang members entering with you. Not to say that you should become a social recluse in fear but if you feel uncomfortable about something in a certain area get out as soon as possible. Like with the incident with the gang members if you don't like being around gang members because of their actions and the probablity there is something bad going to happen in the bar go to another that night. Even though you can stand in front of your house and still get robbed or killed by a stranger doesn't mean you got to cut yourself off from the rest of society to be safe. Just as long as you don't intentionally put yourself at risk or increase the chances of getting attacked by someone you should be able to live a very fulfilling life.